Hello there again. Just like before, it has been awhile since I've posted anything. I was actually planning to make the next post on the 1st of November but..... I did it today. Well nevermind, I can always make another post on that day :)
It's soon to be the end of October already. November is coming and I'm excited! Birthday! Holidays! Relaxation! Well, I'll have total fun if I live in the moment and not think what I am actually about to face next year. SPM ! One of the biggest exam of my life!
Life lately had been really tough... having to deal with all this thoughts that kept appearing, things at home and out there... Sometimes, I feel like giving up for a moment I wished my life would end right there but when things seems to go on in a better way, I thought otherwise. Remember when I talked about my friends? Well, I don't know what's wrong with me to kept thinking that they hate me and all.. I guess I'm just effing paranoid. I hate feeling down I hate feeling like me being brought in to this world is a mistake and misery is what I have to pay. I should be optimistic <-- wow I'm using that word. Being a teen is really tough a lot of shannanigans to put up with like social life, peers, studies, family, LIFE.. It's really hard and you might drown in this pool of shannanigans ( I sound like someone older ) anyway, it's just what I thought you know. The thing I love the most is to be able to remember and cherish those memories I have during my youth because you certainly can't turn back time and at one point you'll forget how being a teen feels like. I will try to be a better person and not sulk myself in to self-pity not again. I have to actually live because I might die soon - I'd always had this thought that I WILL die early.. and I still thought of it.
Sometimes I act up and screw a perfectly good friendship. I hate doing this and I can't help myself sometimes and I know here it's my fault and no, I'm not blaming anyone.
Dear friends,
I am sorry if the way I act had affected your perspective towards me and I'm sorry for being icky sometimes. I am sorry for spilling my problems to you. I just can't help myself and friends are my alternative way of letting my feelings and thoughts out. When I accidently say things that's offensive, I am sorry. It was just my mouth being silly.
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