Different location with the same space

I'm suppose to be strong,

I'm suppose leave this hole,

Yet in a solitary moment that's where I'm heading.

I have to talk to God,

but I'm afraid

although I know he's there,

I'm afraid.

I still need that shoulder,

that soothing hug,

I often felt a heavy feeling in this chest

like I need some rest.

I want to sleep and not wake up until this thing disappears,

but that would only mean running.

My conscience isn't blurred

but I'm acting as if it is.

When will I ever learn?

When will I ever gain the strength within to soar?

I'm so confused.

I need a slap. To wake me up.

I need to help myself.